If real life were a rom-com, your love story would start with a magical meet-cute—locking eyes across the room and instantly knowing they’re The One. Cue the montage of baking disasters (complete with flour fights), sunset strolls, and maybe even a tandem bike ride. You wouldn’t need relationship advice because everything would fall perfectly into place. Sure, there’d be a brief dramatic misunderstanding, but it’d all wrap up neatly with a grand romantic gesture.
But let’s be real—dating in today’s world is far from a movie script. Relationships don’t unfold in perfect, cinematic moments; they take effort, understanding, and patience. The early days of a relationship can be tricky to navigate, but they also set the tone for what’s ahead. If you’re wondering how to start off strong (and if this person is even worth your time), here are 15 key tips for building a healthy new relationship.
1. Focus on the Present
It’s easy to carry past heartbreaks into a new relationship, but that baggage can hold you back. Just because an ex betrayed your trust doesn’t mean your new partner will. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong before, focus on what’s happening now. Get to know your partner in the present moment—without making assumptions based on past experiences.
Of course, the “dating history” conversation is important, but it doesn’t have to happen right away. You don’t need to lay out all your past relationships on the first date. Likewise, if you’re already fantasizing about forever just a few dates in, take a step back and enjoy the moment. The honeymoon phase only happens once—make the most of it!
2. Talk About the Future Early On
While it’s important to stay present, you also shouldn’t ignore long-term compatibility. You don’t have to ask about their five-year plan before the appetizers arrive, but major deal-breakers—like marriage, kids, or career goals—shouldn’t be ignored for too long. There’s nothing worse than investing months into a relationship only to realize you want completely different things.
Even if you’re not discussing marriage or big life goals yet, be clear about your intentions. Are you looking for something serious, or is this more casual? Defining your expectations early on saves you from potential heartache (and avoids falling into yet another situationship).
3. Be Attracted to the Person, Not Just the Idea of a Relationship
Wanting a relationship is natural, but make sure you’re drawn to your partner—not just the idea of being with someone. If you find yourself overlooking red flags or forcing a spark, pause and reassess. Would you still enjoy spending time with them if a relationship wasn’t on the table? If the answer is yes, you’re likely attracted to them for the right reasons.
4. Have the Sex Talk
If you’re not comfortable discussing sexual health, boundaries, and expectations with your partner, you might not be ready to be intimate with them. Conversations about STD testing, consent, and comfort levels should happen openly and without judgment. And forget outdated rules like the “three-date rule”—the right time to be intimate is whenever both of you feel ready.
5. Meet Each Other’s Friends
Your partner’s social circle can give you valuable insight into who they are. If their friends are unkind or have values that don’t align with yours, that might be a red flag. Similarly, introducing your partner to your own friends can be eye-opening—your friends might notice things you don’t. If you both mesh well with each other’s social circles, it’s a great sign of long-term compatibility.
6. Keep Important Conversations Off Text
Texting is great for casual check-ins and sending funny memes, but deeper conversations should happen in person. Miscommunication is common over text, especially when discussing emotions or disagreements. If a serious topic comes up, let your partner know you’d rather talk about it face-to-face.
7. Be Yourself
It sounds cliché, but pretending to be someone you’re not will only lead to disappointment later on. If you hate horror movies, don’t pretend to love them. If you’re obsessed with early 2000s pop music, own it. The right person will appreciate you for who you truly are, and being honest saves you time with people who aren’t a good match.
8. Enjoy the Ride
New relationships are exciting, but it’s easy to get caught up in overanalyzing everything—Do they like me as much as I like them? What does that text mean? Instead of stressing, take a deep breath and enjoy this stage. The early days of a relationship are special, so soak in all the little moments.
9. Don’t Obsess Over Labels
Modern dating can be confusing. Are you just talking? Exclusively dating? Seeing other people? If you’re unsure where you stand, don’t panic. Different people move at different speeds, and the timeline for defining the relationship varies. What’s important is that you both have clarity on expectations—are you exclusive, or is this casual? Beyond that, don’t stress too much over labels.
10. Pay Attention to Red Flags
If your partner lies, is rude to others, or dismisses your feelings, don’t brush it off as a one-time thing. Red flags are called red flags for a reason. Nobody is perfect, but consistent negative behaviors—like dishonesty or lack of respect—shouldn’t be ignored. Trust your instincts.
11. Make Time for Yourself
It’s tempting to spend every waking moment together in the honeymoon phase, but don’t lose yourself in the relationship. Maintain your hobbies, friendships, and personal time. A healthy relationship allows both partners to have their own lives while still growing together.
12. Communicate Openly
Good communication is the backbone of any strong relationship. If something bothers you, don’t bottle it up. Express your feelings honestly and respectfully. And just as important—listen to your partner’s thoughts and feelings, too.
13. Build Trust Early On
Trust isn’t built overnight, but small actions—like following through on promises and being reliable—can create a solid foundation. If trust issues arise, address them early before they become bigger problems.
14. Keep the Spark Alive
Just because you’re in the early stages doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put effort into romance. Surprise them with a thoughtful gesture, plan fun dates, or send sweet messages just because. The little things make a big difference.
15. Know When to Walk Away
Not every relationship is meant to last, and that’s okay. If your values don’t align, if there’s a lack of trust, or if you simply don’t feel happy, it’s better to walk away sooner rather than later. A good relationship should bring joy, not stress.
New relationships are a mix of excitement, uncertainty, and discovery. While it’s natural to have ups and downs, following these tips can help you navigate the early stages with confidence. Stay true to yourself, communicate openly, and most importantly—enjoy the journey.