Heartbreak hits hard. Whether it was a long-term relationship or something that felt promising but ended too soon, moving on can feel like a mountain you didn’t sign up to climb. For many men, dealing with emotional pain isn’t something we’re taught to do well. We’re told to “man up” or “get over it,” but the truth is — healing takes time, and starting over requires more than just downloading a dating app.

If you’re a man trying to rebuild your confidence and open your heart again, here’s some real talk on how to do it right.

1. Feel the Pain, Don’t Bury It
It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, confused, or even numb. Suppressing emotions doesn’t make them go away; they just show up in other parts of your life. Talk to someone you trust — a friend, family member, or even a therapist. Facing the pain head-on is the first step to healing.

2. Stop Blaming Yourself (or Her)
Breakups are rarely 100% one person’s fault. Obsessing over “what ifs” or beating yourself up won’t change the past. Neither will blaming your ex for everything. Try to reflect without judgment. What did you learn? What will you do differently next time?

3. Reconnect with Yourself
Before diving into a new relationship, spend some time focusing on you. Revisit hobbies you love, travel, work out, hang with friends — basically, refill your emotional tank. When you’re happy alone, you won’t feel desperate to be with someone just to feel whole again.

4. Take Things Slow
You don’t need to rush into anything. It’s tempting to date right away to distract yourself or prove you’ve “moved on,” but emotional shortcuts often lead back to the same patterns. When you’re ready to date, do it because you’re open to something real — not because you’re afraid to be alone.

5. Set Clear Intentions
As you start meeting new people, be clear with yourself (and them) about what you’re looking for. Are you open to something casual? Serious? Still figuring it out? Honesty — especially with yourself — keeps you from repeating old mistakes.

6. Let Go of Comparison
Don’t measure your healing based on your ex’s life or social media. Everyone moves on differently, and what you see online is rarely the whole story. Focus on your path, your progress, and your peace.

7. Be Open, But Guard Your Energy
When the time comes to love again, be open — but wise. Set boundaries, communicate clearly, and listen as much as you speak. Love requires trust, but trust doesn’t mean ignoring red flags or abandoning your standards.

Final Thought: Starting Over Isn’t Weak — It’s Brave
It takes courage to love again after being hurt. It shows growth, strength, and belief in something better ahead. You’re not broken — you’re evolving. Give yourself the grace to heal, and the chance to love again, better than before.